


Nerf Therapy

by XinRui



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27583067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XinRui/pseuds/XinRui
Summary: Anonymous asked: I just read that therapy nerf gun thing and now I'm imaging that avengers gave bucky a nerf gun when they 1st get him back cos hey its better than a real gun right? And when he hears Tony say bad stuff about himself he shoots himHere’s the first version: in which Tony helps Bucky and then Bucky returns the favor
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 188





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had 2 ideas so I wrote 2 versions. The first chp is the first version. The second is the second version. They are not chronological

Steve wraps a blanket around Bucky as he shivers with cold sweat. Bucky tightens it around him, humming gratefully in response. He hasn’t recovered from the panic attack enough to find his voice. Bruce is nearby with a cup of warm tea. Bucky takes it into his hands, focusing on the grounding sensation of warmth in his flesh hand. He grimaces, thinking about the lack of sensation in the metal arm - the disgusting weapon of Hydra stuck to his body against his will. That’s all he’ll ever be - the fist of Hydra.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky rasps, tearing up. The team exchanges glances of concern. “I’m sorry. It’s bad enough I’ve been with Hydra but now I can’t even-“ Natasha hushes him softly, murmuring to him in Russian. The tears flow. He shakes his head in response.

Tony knows that look. He’s seen in staring back at him in the mirror. The self-loathing, the hatred… When Bucky has recovered he has an idea.

—

The first time it happens catches Bucky completely by surprise, which was probably not one of Tony’s best ideas. Bucky is in the kitchen with Sam. They’re talking and munching on some popcorn. Sam’s hand meets Bucky’s metal one in the popcorn bowl. Sam withdraws quickly with a yelp. “Shit that’s cold!”

Bucky scowls, looking at his hand with disgust. “Sorry… I know it’s gross.”

The nerf dart flies through the air, sticking to the exposed shoulder of his metal arm. “What the fuck?” Tony moves forward into the kitchen brandishing a neon orange Nerf gun.

“It’s therapy,” Tony explains. Bucky gapes at him, then turns to Sam. Sam laughs at the Nerf dart still stuck to Bucky’s arm. He shrugs. “Don’t look at me man. I’ve never used Nerf guns in therapy.”

“Every time you say something mean about yourself, I’ll shoot you with my Nerf gun.”

Bucky blinks at him. “What are you talking about?”

“You said your arm was disgusting.”

“Well it is-“ Fwip. Another dart flies from Tony’s gun, bouncing off Bucky’s pec. “Hey!”

Tony smiles gently. “You’re not even aware of it, are you? You can’t be healing if you’re blaming yourself for things beyond your control.”

Sam whistles. “That’s really insightful Tony.” Tony shrugs. “I’ve seen enough shrinks thanks to Howard. Just borrowing a technique.”

“Tony…” Bucky starts. “Nope!” Tony cries, starting to leave the kitchen.

—

Missions involving Hydra are always harder for Bucky. Tony thinks he’ll never be satisfied until Hydra is wiped from the earth. But they’ve made excellent progress, made better as Bucky’s memories slowly return.

Bucky is standing in the back of the Avengers jet, fists clenched while he leans against the countertop of the med bay. Tony knocks on the door gently. Bucky looks up wordlessly. “You okay?” Tony asks.

Bucky shakes his head. “The memories… they’re stronger when we’re… They made me a fucking monster.”

There’s a small sound of a latch opening followed by a Fwip. Bucky feels the Nerf dart bounce off his combat pants. “Really Tony?”

Tony is still in his suit. Leave it to him to install a Nerf gun into the suit. Tony shrugs. “You need to know I’m serious. You’re not a monster. You are not what they did to you.”

Bucky sniffles. He can feel the tears coming from the tightness in his chest. Tony pulls him in for a hug. Since he’s in the suit, Bucky lets himself squeeze Tony a little tighter.

—

Steve has made it so there’s no debrief immediately after rough missions, not while emotions are too high. They plan a meeting later after everyone has decompressed. Bruce goes to meditate. Clint and Natasha go… somewhere. No one really knows. Steve breaks three punching bags.

Tony has a stiff drink and holes up in his lab until Steve can pry him out for the debrief. This time is different. Tony is in his barely used office, pacing back and forth on the phone. “No Pep…. Yes, Pep…. No we have to… I don’t care how much it costs!”

His hair is mussed from where he’s been running his hand through it. He’s only half out of his undersuit with a t-shirt pulled over himself haphazardly.

Bucky listens at the door.

“You don’t understand Pep! This is my fault! If I was smarter this wouldn’t have-“

Tony’s voice dies when he feels a small bump on the back of his head. He looks down to see a Nerf dart. He turns to find Bucky in the doorway holding a Nerf handgun.

Tony stares at him. “Pep, I’ll call you back.” He hangs up his phone, setting it on the desk.

Bucky stares back, not backing down. “This wasn’t your fault.” Tony practically growls with frustration. “Bucky don’t-“

“Don’t,” Bucky urges. “Blaming yourself won’t fix anything. Come here.”

Bucky strides into the room, enveloping Tony in a warm embrace. Tony doesn’t react, stunned into silence. Tony looks up at Bucky, then buries his face in Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky hushes him softly, petting his back while he cries and cries.


	2. Winteriron Nerf Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: And even starts to recognise the face Tony gets when he's thinking bad thoughts and shoots him then to, so to the rest of the avengers buckys just randomly shooting Tony, but Tony glares and bucky arches an eyebrow and tonys shakes his head and says fine, only after a while he starts to have tiny smiles too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Version 2. More shippy.

Bucky is practically feral when they finally find him. A supersoldier dose of sedative from a dart delivered by Clint puts him out long enough to bring him back to the tower and place him in the Hulk holding room. But apparently they weren’t thorough enough searching him because he pulls a gun from somewhere and starts shooting the walls.

When he runs out of bullets, he switches to a knife. Steve rushes to him, calling his name. This gives Bucky pause. He clutches the knife tightly, eyes narrowed and fixed on Steve. “… I know you,” he says.

Steve smiles teary-eyed. “Yeah, Buck. You do.”

—

They work with Helen Cho and a team of doctors, plus Tony’s BARF system. Bucky remains guarded, though less likely to stab someone it seems. He only agrees to leave the Hulk room if he is armed.

Tony sighs. “Steve he can’t carry a loaded gun around the Tower.”

“Natasha does.”

“Natasha is not likely to have a breakdown and kill everyone.”

“He won’t hurt anyone!” Steve protests.

Tony pinches the bridge of his nose, brow furrowed. “I understand he doesn’t trust us yet… but we’re not going to hurt him. And he could hurt someone,” Tony says. He is trying to be gentle. Steve is fiercely overprotective of his best friend- and for good reason.

Steve has his arms crossed over his chest. He looks conflicted. Tony lets out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. I think I have an idea.”

—

Tony is holding what appears to be a handgun. “If you need a weapon to feel safe, then use this one. And this one only. We’re not here to hurt you.”

Bucky wrinkles his nose at it. “And a knife,” Bucky tries. “No.” Tony’s voice is firm. Bucky glares. He looks out of the Hulk room, at Steve waiting and holding his breath.

Tony holds out the handgun. “Don’t you want to sleep somewhere warm and safe? Maybe take a shower? We don’t want to keep you in here. You’re not a prisoner.”

Bucky takes it hesitantly. Immediately he feels how light it is. “It’s fake!” Bucky growls. “It’s a nerf gun.” Bucky points it at the wall and shoots out a foam dart. “I just modified it to look like a real gun. I’m sorry Bucky, but I can’t risk my team getting hurt.”

Bucky looks at Tony for a long moment. Without a word he walks out of the Hulk room holding his nerf gun. Steve’s eye light up. “Are you hungry? This century has some great pizza.”

—

Bucky mostly keeps to himself at first. The fake weapon is not quite assurance enough to encourage trust. Its a few weeks before he leaves Steve’s floor.

On the common floor, he tends to lurk in shadows. Tony thought he’d be used to it by now with Birdbrain and the Crimson Tide, but Bucky stays completely still and somehow that’s worse. Tony could be halfway through making coffee before he realizes Bucky is crouched in a corner.

With time, he becomes accustomed to it. What he isn’t used to are the Nerf darts seemingly always directed at him.

After three long meetings back-to-back Tony comes back to the Tower and heads straight to the kitchen. Solving the issues with the supply chain is going to take all night. He’ll need as much coffee as he can find.

As he starts the coffee machine, his phone rings. Reluctantly he answers. “Yeah Pep?” He frowns at her words. “Damn it…” He runs a hand through his hair. “If I hadn’t been so fucking stupid-“

Tony jumps when something hits the back of his neck. He swats, thinking it may be a large bug. He finds a small item caught on the collar of his suit jacket. He holds it up in front of himself. A nerf dart…

He spins around, finding Bucky silently crouched on the corner barstool. Tony wrinkles his nose and tosses it at Bucky. It lands short so Tony sticks his tongue out.

“Yeah I’m still here Pep.” He goes back to his phone call thinking about all the issues to solve.

—

Tony thinks he may have the darts figured out. One night, when sleep has been elusive, he goes to warm some milk in the kitchen. Bucky is already there, in soft sweats and a hoodie, sipping on some of Natasha’s tea.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Tony asks. Bucky gives him a look, as if to say “What do you think?”

Tony nods. “Got any tea to share?” Bucky quirks an eyebrow at him. “I don’t run entirely on booze and caffeine.” He makes a face. People always assume. He is self-destructive, he supposes.

Fwip. A Nerf dart hits him in the forehead.

“Hey!” Tony protests.

Bucky sips his tea. Tony sighs. “Yeah okay…”

—

When Bucky makes progress in recovery, he begins to move into the other’s spaces. He goes on missions sure, but he also has tea and whispers in Russian to Natasha or plays target practice and catch with Clint. He jokes with Steve and Tony can tell from the bright-eyed grin on Steve’s face that Bucky is back to some semblance of his former self.

Movie night becomes a team thing - for educational purposes, Tony declares. For some reason, Bucky always chooses to sit next to Tony on the couch. Occasionally, Tony lets himself relax enough to have a hand or a foot touch some part of Bucky- grounding and comforting.

They’re watching Titanic because it is a modern classic, especially relevant since the “draw me like one of your French girls” meme. Tony’s heart beats a little faster. He knows what’s coming. Cal will get angry… he’ll hit Rose. Just like Howard used to. If he’d just kept quiet…

A nerf dart interrupts his thought. Instead of being shot, Bucky has gently lobbed it at him. Just enough to distract. Tony responds with a small smile.

—

“Why do you do it?”

Tony doesn’t mean to blurt it out one late night. They’re both in the kitchen, which has become a common ritual when they’re both kept awake by nightmares.

“Do what?” Bucky asks.

“The nerf gun thing…”

Bucky sets down his tea cup. “Do you remember offering me the Nerf gun?” Tony blinks, not expecting the answer. He nods.

“You told me you couldn’t let anyone hurt your team,” Bucky continues. “I could see it in your eyes. You didn’t care if you got hurt as long as no one else did. Who understands that better than me?”

Tony scowls. “Bucky…”

“You deserve so much more Tony. You take care of everyone, but you forget about yourself.”

Tony shakes his head. “I’m fine.” Bucky stands, moving closer to Tony. “I don’t want you to be fine, Tony. I want you to be happy.”

Tony’s heart beats a little faster. Bucky is standing so close. Tony licks his lips subconsciously. “You want me to be… happy?”

“I do, Tony.”

Somehow Tony believes him.

Their kiss is gentle, sweet, and everything Tony could have ever wished for.


End file.
